The Kiltie Code
The standing laws and orders of the Twisted Kilt Society, aka “The Kiltie Code”. Ok, maybe not the “laws and orders”. How about guidelines? Suggestions? Really nice way to conduct ourselves? Yeah I like that. And I’m typing this, so, I’m going to use it.
These are the general rules for which every kiltie in the TKS shall govern themselves. While this is not a complete list, consider this to be the TKS 10 Commandments. For a complete list, click here
The 10 Commandments of the Kiltie Code
- If two kilties know the same story, the lesser known kiltie among the party or group shall tell it.
- Never drink the last beer at another kiltie’s house.
- Older kilties are a resource. Find a chief and accept his wisdom. This will make you a better kiltie, for instance.
- Do not throw a fellow kiltie under the bus to impress others.
- You shall provide pizza and beers for any kilties that help you move. Because they helped you move, those who help you move shall have the right to choose the beer.
- If you help a fellow kiltie move, and he abides by Item 5, you shall choose his type beer to toast his new home.
- Thou shalt not hit a kiltie in the balls and claim it was a joke.
- If a kiltie is telling a story, you shall not one-up him.
- We were all new to being a kiltie at one time. Always invite new kilties to hang with the group.
- Your favorite dram is free. If your fellow kiltie offers you a dram, you shall not bitch that it isn’t your brand. This applies to all manner of alcohol.
- NEVER, and I do mean NEVER, let a kiltie leave the pub pissed (or in US vernacular, drunk) to drive. A kiltie will always find or make space for a drunk kiltie who needs to leave. If necessary, the theft of phone and keys shall be done for his own good.
Yes, I am well aware that there are 11 and not 10. But I’m writing this and I wanted 11.